One liner thread

Rules to this thread is basically to post one line, maybe two or three, but thats it, continuing from the post before it, to create a weird random story, beginning from now ^^

Once upon a time a big green bear was stumbling across the woods, his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy, this big green bear was...

. . .on his way to the hospital, as the green-tinged fungus that, before late, had been centralized on a small area of his right forepaw, recently spread to cover his entire coat. Upon arriving, he. . .

...was admitted to the maternity center... much to his surprise, however the doctors told him...

not only was he infected with a potentially fatal condition known only as funguarsis furcadia, but was pregnant with dog babies. a devastating one two punch left Fuzzy reeling from the ramifications. indeed, his mother had warned him well of playing with - as she'd called it - "the wild life reserve". sure, there had been some late nights in the briar patch, but..

..he’d always believed he used adequate protection when dallying with those sultry bitches from the Woof Club. He never frequented the place without his spiky, black leather flea-collar. To find out that he now had puppies up his duff.. well, it was simply too much! Bleakly, he silently prayed that his fungal growth problem wouldn’t turn out to be a precursor of the dreaded Green Gonorrhea.

After taking a second to compose himself, Fuzzy Wuzzy..

...was shot at by a masked stranger. Acting quickly upon his Special OPs training, he draws his M19A1 and fires off two rounds, but the masked man takes off. Then, Fuzzy hears sirens. Oh no! It's the Cops! Quickly, Fuzz dives into the bushes, when-

...He remembered he was in the maternaty ward... bushes? What kinda bushes are in a hospital? Then he found out, it was infact the...

. . . holodeck of the Starship Enterprise. This entire scenario, including his funguarsis furcadia infection, had been a simulation. Ecstatic by his return to normalcy, he. . .

..made a nice cup of tea, sat down and rang his mother.

"Fuzzles!" his mother exclaimed upon answering the space-phone.

"Hi mum," Fuzzy Wuzzy said, anxiously sipping on his drink, "I have something to tell you.."

"I'm up the duff" says Fuzzy Wuzzy, as he heard his mum drop something.
His mum replied "Well I have been trafficking romulan ale son.." Then she
hear him dropping his drink.

...Then Fuzz shouts "Well, I slept with 156 prostitutes while sniffing coke lines off their backs!! Beat THAT, Mum!" Aggrivated, his mother screams-

"Shut up Fuzzy. Idiot.. Now listen, I've sent you a package"

Fuzzy replies, "This isnt one of those detonate-in-5-seconds packages, is it?" Wearily, his Mom says-

"What kind of cheap parent do you think I am? I sent you the 7 1/2 second detonating packages- oh and don't forget to eat the fattening "Health bars" I bought for you from a TV infomercial." Suddenly Fuzzy's doorbell rings-

...and 5 mailbox sized white puffballs go flying through the door to attack FuzzyWuzzy in hugs... unfortunatly they were overzealous and knocked him out...

When Fuzzy Wuzzy regained consciousness 7 hours later he found himself spreadagled upon a polished glass bed, a wire-wool comforter draped over his legs. Blinking in confusion, he sat up and looked around in an effort to fathom just whereabouts on the Enterprise he'd been taken.

When he saw a... a... another FuzzyWuzzy next to him!!! WTF?!!! he thought, it was JUST like him, poking it and comparing himself to it, he was in utmost confusion about this... thing, lookalike, twin?, imposter... wtf happened?

Fuzzy said Hi, and the clone of him said it same time, Fuzzy said "wtfh are you", clone again mimicked him, Fuzzy thought to himself "I need to lay off the mushrooms..." and the clone replied, yeah, you do...

Fuzzy Wuzzy considered his options. He could stay here and play wordy ping-pong with a (most-likely evil) doppelganger and try to make some semblance of sense out of all this craziness, or he could simply walk out of the room and go make himself a nice cheese sandwich.

Five minutes later, Fuzzy Wuzzy was sat down at the kitchen table preparing to enjoy some cheddar-ey goodness.

Having realized that the doppelganger was evil, Fuzzy Wuzzy should immediately have come to suspect that his cheese sandwich had been poisoned. He did not, however, suspect. He took a bite, and. . .

FuzzyLuzzy watches intently as FuzzyWuzzy passes from consciousness! but with one last squirm, Wuzzy's chair totters dangerously away from the table on it's back legs, finally bringing our hero's hulking mass into contact with a cabinet filled with ancient dishware! a great, horrible sound alarms the two security officers in the hall, and within a moment they are inside the room- but before they can size up the situation, a panicked FuzzyLuzzy..

grabs the remains of Fuzzy Wuzzy's cheese sandwich and stuffs it all into his gaping mouth, swallowing with a wild look in his beady red little eyes.

The guards begin to approach the doppelganger, their Phasers set to 'hurt', but before they've reached half way across the kitchen, Fuzzy Luzzy collapses, dairy-specked foam pouring out of his mouth and dribbling down his furry green chin.

With his last bubbly dying breath, the strange mimic-bear utters three words:

. . . was a bear. . .

Victim of his own scheming, Fuzzy Luzzy was no more.

Meanwhile, Fuzzy Wuzzy awakens from his swoon to find. . .

...himself again lay upon the polished glass bed.

Relieved that the wire-wool blanket was nowhere to be seen this time, he groggily sat up. As he did so, a crack of arcing pain exploded in his chest and raced down his left side. Gasping breathlessly, silently, he fell back onto the solid and - unfortunately for him - pillowless bed.

The back of his skull bounced once against the 2 foot thick glass block and Fuzzy Wuzzy once more fell into a state of unconscious oblivion.

...Then Fuzzy wakes up, only to find himself in what looks to be a large, white room. Rubbing his skull in pain and confusion, he turned to see a bald african american in a leather armchair. "Hello, Fuzzy. we've been expecting you." he gestured to another seat beside him, and Fuzzy sat. The man stretched out his hands, and in each hand, he held a pill. one red, one blue. "Choose only one, Fuzzy." Fuzzy pointed behind the man, "look, a distraction!" the man looked, and in a flash, Fuzzy swiped both pills and simultaniously swallowed them and uttered a triumphant "HA!" before he descended into unconciousness.
"Crap! no one's been stupid enough to swallow BOTH pills!" he heard the man yell. Then fuzzy awoke to discover-